Shared Grief
by Babbling Brook42
Summary: It is almost a year since Chichiri and Tasuki lost their friends. On the eve of the anniversary how are they dealing with it and can they help each other? (Not shounen ai)


Shared Grief – A Step to Healing

By Babbling Brook42

I think that is the corniest title I have ever come up with.  AAAAHHHHHhhh…..  Need to find a better muse for story names.   Throws out old muse. 

When I started writing this, I wanted it to be a Tasuki/Chichiri get-together fic, but it just would not go there.  pout, pout, kick at imaginary stones  If it's not going to go, there is no use forcing it because it will turn out bad – really bad or at least I will never like the result.  So it turned more toward the close friendship.  I do admit I am please with the short story other than that, and who knows maybe down the line I can build on it… just not here. sigh  

Oh, yeah…  I had only read up through volume 3 of the manga at the time of writing this, but had gleaned a lot of info on the rest of the storyline and characters from the net and other stories.  So, if I grievously miss anything or miss interpret anything covered in the original storyline, please forgive me.  bows  

Rating: PG-13

Warning: Foul language from the sexy redheaded bandit. 

Disclaimer: If you believe I own Fushigi Yûgi then I have a bridge I'd like ta sell ya….  ^_~

Japanese words uses in story: 

Hai = Yes

(Think that is all I used in this story.)

****+++++****

Chichiri entered the pub to find his redhead traveling companion loudly disagreeing with one of the locals.

"Ya can just go t' hell," Tasuki said teetering slightly on his feet as he aggressively approached the ox of a man.  "And, I'll send ya there."

Obviously both participants had a bit too much sake.

"Hmph… I'd like to see you try, twerp," the man retorted looming over him.

The room's other occupants moved back to a safe observing distance.

"Tasuki," the monk softly sighed disconcertedly to himself before making his way across the battlefield.

Tasuki's lips curled in a feral grin exposing his canines at the prospect of making the man eat his words.

"Ohh… I'll do mor'an try," Tasuki promised with a hand moving toward his tessen strapped to his back.

"Tasuki," Chichiri warned and placed a cautioning hand over Tasuki's grasping one.

"I can dam well settle this with ou' it," Tasuki said briefly glancing at the monk behind him.

The ox-man swung aiming at Tasuki's face while he thought the redhead was distracted.  His target moved, and Chichiri gracefully deflected the extended arm away from his person.  A sudden exhale of air escaped through the man's lips after Tasuki's fist arched upward and contacted with his solar plexus.  White with pain, he stumbled back a few steps and his hands clutched his middle.

Tasuki pulled his arm back for another punch as the man regained his balance and charges toward him with a cry of rage.  Tasuki's eyes blazed with anticipation of the attack.  Once more the larger man's attack missed its target and a fury of punches greeted him.

The crowd moved away as the man moved backward under Tasuki's fury.  He stumbled over a chair and landed hunched over a table.  Tasuki growled, grabbed the man's shirt and pulled the half-conscious man off the wooden surface.

A thud of wood hitting the floor and the jingle of metal accompanied Chichiri's soft authoritative order.

"Enough!  Tasuki, it is time we left, no da."

Tasuki's upraised fist dropped to his side.  He let his fingers uncurl from the man's shirt.  The man dropped the short distance back to the tabletop.  Tasuki lowered his eyes and examined the floor.

His voice was distant and soft.  "Yeah, Chichiri, ya're right.  We should go," Tasuki said.  

He turned and walked toward the door.  Chichiri followed after dropping a few coins into the owner's hand.  The crowd watched the two men exit before moving to set things back to normal.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::

Chichiri, from behind his mask, watched Tasuki sulk to the inn.  The normally fiery man trudged up the stairs to their room for the night.  Chichiri had his suspicions as to the root of the wing seishi's irritability.  Chichiri closed the door behind him.

Tasuki dropped onto his bed fully clothed.  He draped one arm over his eyes while the other flopped over the edge.  His lips were pressed into a tight thin line with his internal torment.

"I miss them too," Chichiri softly said removing his mask.

Tasuki shifted his arm enough to see the monk yet still shadowed his amber eyes.  He looked like he was going to make a cutting retort.  Instead, he dropped his head deeper into the thin mattress with an annoyed sigh.

"A year," Tasuki muttered.

Chichiri sat quietly waiting for his friend to continue.

Tasuki violently tossed his feet to the floor and bolted upright.  Tears were not visible but his eyes were red and swollen.

"A fucking year," Tasuki repeated, "since we had to say dammed goodbye to them."

Chichiri dripped his eye to the floor knowing it would reflect his own pain at tomorrow's anniversary.

"Why di't have to be that way?" Tasuki continued with pain and loss evident in his voice.  "Why?" he pounded his fisted hands into his thighs.  Tears threatened to fall as the moisture gathered in the corners of his eyes.  "Why couldn't we all survive and continue how we were?"

"Life is always changing.  It never stays the same," Chichiri softly answered but found no comfort in his words of truth.  "And there will always be pain," Chichiri mumbled to himself.

Chichiri glanced to his right after the bed shifted under another's weight.  The air suddenly smelled of sake.  Tasuki placed a caring arm over his shoulders.  Chichiri forced a reassuring smile to his face.

"Don't, just fucking don't put on that damn fake smile!" Tasuki ordered.

Chichiri opened his mouth to protest, but Tasuki interrupted.

"Ya don't think that after all the fucking shit we've been through and the time we've been friends that I can't see through ye'r masks," Tasuki pointed out evidently irritated.  "Ye're not al'right.  Ya hurt in here," Tasuki tapped a finger to Chichiri's chest over his heart and looked resolutely into his friend's eye, "just like I do.  At least, we can find comfort in hurting together."  The ex-bandit dropped his eyes to the floor.  His eyes closed against the tears threatening to come.  "Ya hide y'r dam emotions too fucking much," Tasuki said in his normal elegant manner.

Chichiri let the smile fall at his friend's words.  Tasuki was right.  He always hid his own emotions so he could be strong for those around him, so he would not be a burden to them, so no one else would get close to him.  This once, for Tasuki, he would let the mask fall; push aside the responsibility of being the solid foundation; and share his grief if that was how his friend could best be consoled.

Tasuki leaned his head on the monk's shoulder.  Eyes still closed against his grief.

"Remember when Nuriko shoved me out the window," Tasuki prefaced the fond memory of their friend, "and I smashed into Tamahome."

"Yes," Chichiri said with a sad tender smile.

"We both ended in the pond, and I was so mad and had to get back at 'im – Nuriko.  I did eventually…."

One story unraveled into another.  Healing laughter and tears flowed as they reminisced long into the night. 

:::::::::::::::::::::

The two Suzaku seishi walked the path to the shrine.  Both wore solemn expressions, but the deep pain of last night was absent.  Lowering to their knees, they offered prayers and incense for their fallen loved ones.

Tasuki was the first to rise.  He bowed his head reverently before moving outside to wait for the monk.  He lounged on the steps of the shrine taking in his surroundings till Chichiri's soft footfall against the stone neared.

"Ready?" Tasuki asked getting to his feet and stretching.  He gave Chichiri a toothy grin.

"Hai, no da," Chichiri said with a genuine smile on his unmasked face.

Chichiri settled the mask over his face and moved forward.  The ex-bandit trotted a few steps to bring him abreast of his friend.

"Chichiri, I've been thinking.  All of us will be reincarnated….  Ya' think we'll all be together in our next life and will we remember?" Tasuki asked.

"I can't say, no da," Chichiri answered, "but I pray to Suzaku that we are and will."

"Me too," Tasuki responded kicking at a small pebble in the path.  "It will be great to have our family back," he grinned.

The End


End file.
